You can have your cake…and eat it too.

you can have your cake and eat it tooI was doing a coaching call with one of our online programs and we were talking about feeling guilty when we give in to old urges even when we are truly committed to changing our lives and finding new habits.

Our client was saying that she knows at the start of the program that she’s going to ‘cheat’ and that she already feels like she’s failed even before she starts.

Even though she is really dedicated to losing the weight and getting fit, she still ‘cheats’ and has a piece of chocolate cake. But she feels so guilty after that she decides it’s too late, she’s already eaten the cake, so SHE HAS ANOTHER PIECE!!

When we are trying to make changes, sometimes it’s hard to keep going steady. We fall back into the old habits if we don’t have the right mindset about the ‘bad habit’.  (In my early 20’s, it was a bag of Dad’s oatmeal cookies.)

Change your mind. Change your life.

The idea of ‘cheating’ on ourselves is really funny. It’s not cheating. It’s a conscious decision. But we avoid taking responsibility for it. That’s how we cheat ourselves.

Being so close to the holiday season when all the rules seem to go out the window, I thought a shift in this thinking might help move through it with a bit more ease.

What about if we went about it a different way?

What if we did take responsibility for the decision to ‘break the rules’ and have a piece of cake?

If you want the cake, decide to have a piece of cake.

Here’s the difference: Savour the moment. Enjoy every step of the process. Get your fave plate and your fave fork. Turn the cake around until you find just the right piece. Take a moment and breathe in the smell of the cake. (It’s your favourite.)

Enjoy the feeling of the knife sliding through the cake. As you lift it onto your plate, consider how it will taste. How you will start, which bite first.

Now, sit down breathe with your cake. Make a moment of it.

With every bite, be aware. Smell. Chew. Swallow with joy. Be present for each crumb.

Slow down and have the cake consciously.


Get into it! Love it!

When the cake is finished, lick the plate (if you’re alone) and don’t feel guilty.

Wash the plate and feel the knowing that that was a remarkable piece of cake. Aware that you consciously enjoyed each moment, every bite, right down to scooping the last bit of icing off the plate.

Breathe in the bliss.

Now let it go.

Move to the next experience.


CAN YOU IMAGINE if that was how we thought of it instead of a ‘cheat’?

When we stay in the moment, aware and conscious, we make different choices.

When we stay stuck in the guilt, we miss the experience of the cake. We get so tied up in what we can’t have, focused on the feeling that we’re ‘giving something up’ and we’re going to be less because of it. Our cheating in the moment makes us feel as if we are ‘filled up’ again. And we miss the cake. So we need another piece.


What if it’s hard to tune in to what you really want?

Here’s an exercise to try.

Some of you might already use muscle testing, and that’s great. I invite you to move past needing the outside experience and into listening and hearing your own body.

Let’s come back to the cake.

Oh, that beautiful piece of cake. (Or wine. Or cigarette. Or pizza. Or beer… get what I mean )

Before you decide to have it, stop. Take a breath or two to feel a bit calmer. Now ask your body: “Do you want the _________?” Ask it. Consciously ask your body…..

And then, here’s the trick, LISTEN for the answer.

You will hear something in your stomach, feel the sugar in your body, feel your throat tighten, cough, whatever message your body has to signal you. If it’s wine, you might feel dehydrated…whatever the sensation is, Your Body will signal you what its reaction will be to that decision.

Now decide.

Now, even if you have the cake, it will be a far more conscious choice. You will be aware of the affect it has. You will probably only have one piece. And you won’t do it as often.

As you do this consciously, with every decision, you become aware that this is your mind that’s choosing.

Your body would choose something different.

This is only a thought.

So if this is a thought , you can change it.
Become conscious. Become aware.
Have the cake.
Love the cake.
And then choose consciously to know that you don’t HAVE to have it.
All your power lies in your awareness that you are the one that’s in control.
You are the one who is choosing.
When you are conscious you can choose to have the cake or not and there is no denying yourself a treat; no feeling ripped off.

This is how you change a lifestyle to become what you truly choose.

I hope this mindset might help a bit during the holidays. It is hard to keep our regular routines together when so many things happen so quickly over such a short period of time.

This is your power.
And ultimately, that’s the only journey we are on.
We are here to become aware of ourselves and to create a lifestyle of conscious choice.

So choose consciously, without judgment, with awareness. And have the cake!!!

Live your life in bliss and awareness.